Since I’m obviously the best fortune teller around, I thought I’d share with you some of my more noteworthy predictions for 2016.
- The sky will continue to be blue unless disturbed by giant greyish clouds or the sun is rising and or falling
- It will probably snow at least one more time before March
- The Oscars will be awarded to every caucasian person who is not Leonardo Di Caprio
- Everyone will pretend for one day this year that they care about sports when, in actuality, they only want to see the commercials
- The pollen count this year is gonna be so high and everyone with allergies will cry
- When spring break ends, everyone will groan loudly about how there are no more breaks
- When it finally gets hot, everyone is gonna be mad that our shorts have to be capri length
- By May, the Seniors will probably start crying twice a week out of pure nostalgia and the realization that we’re going our separate ways (unless you go to the same college and/or live in VA)
There you go. And like any good fortune teller, don’t quote me on these.
Written by Jasmine Bonner
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